It Takes A Man, et add
by brandtfan
Summary: Songfic. My first Five 0 publish, although I am currently working on a full story. Inspiration struck from one of my favourite songs, It Takes A Man by Aaron Lines. Also redone by Chris Young. Hope you enjoy! Please read and review! :) I'm adding more as they come to me.. Will probably be mostly Steve/Cath but insipration can come from the strangest places, so we'll see.
1. It Takes A Man

Catherine locked her fingers and bowed her head. "I'm late, Steve." She said. "And I'm really scared."

Watching the rain pour down outside the windshield of his father's Marquis, Steve couldn't believe what he was hearing. It certainly wasn't what he expected to hear, after asking Catherine along on a scenic ride to the North Shore that day. He had planned on asking her what she thought about moving in with him, but ultimately chickened out because of how big a step it would've been for both of them. Their relationship never really had any kind of boundaries, or rules before. So the idea of the two of them tying roots down together was scary for Steve. 'Scared' and Steve rarely went together in the same sentence, but relationships was a whole other ball game for the former SEAL. Snd he highly suspected it would be for Catherine too. As scary as it was, it didn't change how much he had grown to love her over the last few years. Did it mean they had a serious future? He didn't know. But he did know that lately, the thoughts of having Cath around all the time were entering his mind more and more often.

And now here he was, hearing that she may be pregnant. Talk about the future, and then some. A person made up of the two of them. Something, no _someone _that would forever bind them. Not just their future, but _forever._

Seeing the glossed over look in Steve's eyes, Catherine decided to just keep plowing through everything she had wanted to say to him during their entire drive that afternoon. The sooner it was all over with, the better off they both would be, she thought.

"I know you didn't ask for this anymore than I did, Steve. So, if you decide to go, I'll understand." She knew that was probably going to be the most difficult part of her speech, aside from telling him that there was a chance she was pregnant in the first place. Going over what she was going to say next, Catherine realized that it was going to be just as difficult. "But I hope you stay," she placed her hand on his; she felt the tears start to well up in her eyes. "I'm going to keep it, either way."

Still not looking at her, Steve laid his head on the steering wheel. "I know, I know." Catherine said, unable to keep the tears in any longer. He still hadn't moved, or given any indication that he had in fact heard what she'd said. "Don't hate me, for loving you." She said, before her emotions took over and she could no longer speak.

She scanned his eyes for a sign. Something, anything that would mean everything was going to be alright. After a minute of silence, Steve was able to fully grasp what all this mean. He moved his other hand to hold Catherine's. At that exact moment, he couldn't reassure her. He knew he could barely string three words together, but he was there. And he always would be. He knew they would have plans, and that they could raise this child with as much love as it deserved. Thinking about his childhood and the events that led him to be who he is today, Steve definitely knew one thing. Any fool can make a baby, but it takes a man to raise a child. And like his father, he was going to be nothing short of that man. For Catherine, and for their child. Their future, their forever.


	2. Alone Tonight

I know we said we wouldn't go down this road

This bed is empty and it's so cold

I don't want to be alone tonight

Stronger, I thought by now I could be stronger

And every day it's getting harder,

I don't want to be alone tonight.

CHORUS

And a part of me knows better

I know we said we'd never but maybe we're just living a lie

I can find a million reasons to fight the way I'm feeling

but I, I don't want to be alone tonight

Weakness, you've always been my greatest weakness

It's like a secret that I must confess.

I don't want to be alone tonight

CHORUS

And a part of me knows better

I know we said we'd never but maybe we're just living a lie.

I could find a million reasons to fight the way I'm feeling

but I, I don't want to be alone tonight

_How did we get here? _ Steve thought as he watched her little blue corvette pull away from his house and disappear into the hazy early morning sky. He sat down in a chair, replaying their last conversation over and over again in his head.

"We agreed this would never be a serious thing, Steve!" Catherine yelled, picking her pants up off Steve's bedroom floor. "Why do you do that, go to that place?" she added, pulling them on and doing them up.

"I know, what we said, but that was a long time ago, Cath." He replied, rather deflated. "You can't tell me that you haven't felt it too." He put his face in his hands for a few seconds. "All these nights being here, going to sleep together, and waking up together. I'm talking about not being alone anymore, Cath. I wake up in the morning, and the first thing I think is, I how I won't be alone tonight, I have you." She continued to gather her things. It didn't deter him, though. "And I know you feel something too. You're only lying to yourself when you act like you don't." He said, looking at her once again.

She shot him a look as she grabbed her phone off the night stand. "I have to go, Steve." She headed for the door but was cut off. "You can act like you're strong, but I know you're fighting it. What I don't know is why, Cath." He put his hands on her shoulders.

She looked over his shoulder to the empty bed, and then back to Steve. "It gets harder by the day. And you want reasons? I have about as many as you do, Steve. Why are you all of a sudden acting like we should both just forget our past and act like it never happened?" she shook her head and proceeded to push past him.

Steve was not going to give up that easily, though. "I think you're scared because you feel it too," he yelled as he followed her down the stairs. "And yeah, we've both been burned in the past, but _we're _different." He motioned back and forth between them, referring to them as a couple. "So stop fighting it, stop finding reasons and give us a try." He finished, breathing a little heavy.

Catherine didn't let up either, though. She slipped her feet into her sandals and reached for the door handle. "No," she shook her head as she opened the door. "I can't do this. Goodbye Steve." She barely even looked at him as she went through the door. He moved to the window and watched her get in her car and drive away.

Again, Steve asked himself what had just happened.

Little did he know, though, that Catherine only made it to the end of his block. Unable to see the road in front of her through her tear soaked eyes, she pulled over and stopped.

_He's stubborn, pig headed, a control freak, overly competitive, he acts like a cave man, and he has enough baggage from his past to last for a trip around the world. _She continued to sob, putting her head down on the steering wheel. _But he's my greatest weakness. Always has been. _Catherine looked in her mirrors to look at her face. Secretly, she wished she'd see Steve running behind her as well. She went over their conversation in her mind too. Hearing him say those things made her realize that he was right. She knew he was right before she stormed out, but she didn't know what to do, or how to stop her instinctive fight or flight response. She was telling herself she didn't want to be with him all the time, that they had no long term potential. She was a strong, independent woman, and didn't need any man to get in the way of that. But the truth was, being 'strong and independent' often meant spending nights all alone in a cold, empty bed. And she had been feeling something over the last few weeks, spending almost every single night wrapped in Steve's arms, waking up with him smiling at her. As each morning came across them, it was getting harder and harder for her to keep lying to herself. And she thought she'd done a good job of keeping it from Steve, but after that conversation, she knew he was well aware of how she truly felt. A part of her knew better than to let herself go down that road, but the fact of the matter was, now they were there.

_Now what? _She asked herself, drying the last of her tears and starting the 'vette up again. Completely unsure of where she was going, Catherine just kept driving. An hour, two hours, then three hours later she was still driving, trying to clear her head. Realizing it was past lunch time, she pulled off the main street to head towards her favourite lunch spot. It wasn't until she spotted the flash of dark blue from one side of the diner that everything came flooding into her mind.

She sat in her car for a few minutes, just waiting, and thinking. Thinking about how she had instinctively come to the place where she and Steve had shared so many not only meals, but great conversations. Telling each other things that they never had before, offering up pieces of each other that they both usually kept incredibly guarded. _What have I done? _She asked herself, as she closed her eyes and let her head hit the headrest. Fighting back tears once more, she silently cursed herself for not letting him love her. He did love her, and she knew she was a better person for it. Taking one good deep, breath, Catherine dried her eyes and got out of her car. She kept her eyes peeled for him as she walked across the parking lot towards the diner.

She still hadn't seen him as she walked into the diner. She scanned the entire room, but again, no sign of Steve.

Finishing her lunch, Catherine was starting to think she'd been seeing things when she spotted the dark blue truck on her way in. That feeling didn't last long, though.

It happened so quickly, she felt like she'd lost her breath. Catherine sensed his eyes on her coming from behind. She turned to see him standing in front of his truck, his eyes suddenly going from a deep, sad tone to bright and glossy as they locked onto hers.

Not hesitating for a second, she walked over to him. "Steve, I'm so sorry." She wrapped herself around him. "You were right, about all of it. I've been lying to myself, and trying to find reasons to not let myself do this, but I love you, Steve. And I don't want to be alone tonight, or ever again."

Steve felt the warm tears hit his shirt within seconds. "Shh," he hugged her tighter than ever before. "It's okay." He said softly. When she released her grip, he moved her, taking her face in his hands to be able to stare as deeply into her eyes as possible. "Catherine, I love you. And for as many reasons as there are to fight it, we have a million more to go for it. To love each other, and to let each other in. To always have each other. Tonight, and every night from now until eternity."

Finished professing his love, Steve reached down and kissed her. And everything Catherine felt from his lips, she reciprocated tenfold. They stood there for a few minutes, before she finally separated herself from him enough to be able to speak. "Dessert at your place?" she smiled, raising her eye brows. In what was sure to be record timing, Steve whisked her into her seat in the truck, climbed into his, and was peeling out of the parking lot towards his house.


	3. Take It Off

This one's based on a song I really love and have always thought would make a great angsty story. It's by my favourite artist of all time, Paul Brandt. Here's the lyric.

If you got worry on your mind  
Pain that's piling up inside your heart  
Take it off

If the piece that you've been tryin' to find  
Is held down by a load of lies and scars  
Take it off  
Take it off

There's a place that we all try to hide  
Covered up with guilt and pride we want to  
Take it off

Just leave your crooked past behind  
Look straight into my lovin' eyes and let's talk  
Take it off

Now baby I ain't talking  
About sexuality  
Just close your eyes and lie your naked heart  
Down next to me  
Let's wrap ourselves in truth and honesty  
Take it off

Baby I ain't talking  
About sexuality  
Just close your eyes and lie your naked heart  
Down next to me  
Let's wrap ourselves in truth and honesty

If the pressure's building in on you  
I'll be there to help you through, I'll try  
To take it off

* * *

Catherine could see the light and feel the heat of the rising sun shooting into the room even though she hadn't yet opened her eyes. Coming to the realization that everything she'd just been through the day before wasn't just a bad dream, Catherine couldn't muster up the strength to open her eyes yet. As she felt movement coming from the other side of the bed, she reminded herself that at least something had gone right last night.

Still, all she wanted to do was go back to sleep; to a place where she could let herself forget about how she'd gotten herself almost killed, not to mention killing another person. She kept replaying it over and over again in her mind, the way she'd grabbed the gun Steve had given her and shot the man from barely a few feet away. She knew she had no choice but to shoot the man who'd already killed six people and who'd been reaching to pull a gun on her, but that fact didn't make her feel any less emotionally drained about the situation. It was all she could think about all night. It wasn't until after Steve had fallen asleep that the true weight of the situation hit her. It became clear pretty quickly that she wasn't going to get much sleep anytime soon.

When she felt his arm make its way over her abdomen, Catherine instinctively tensed up. "Hey, you okay?" he asked groggily from behind her back.

"Yeah." She replied, even though she wasn't. Waking up in his bed doing the morning after conversation; she could handle easily. Waking up in his bed and having a real, from the depths of your soul kind of conversation with him was a different story altogether though.

"Mm." he moved himself over in the bed to be snuggled right up against her. "How'd you sleep?" he asked, more or less into the back of her neck.

Feeling his breath dance on her skin in such a delicate manner made Catherine feel even more tense. "Uh, okay. Well, not really enough." She admitted.

"I guess it's a good thing neither of us have to be anywhere today then." He smiled as he placed a few gentle kisses on her neck.

Catherine moved away from him, though. "Steve, I'm not really in the mood." She stated pretty clearly.

He was already taken a little aback when she tensed up at his touch the first time, but now he was really unsure what was going on. "Hey, are you sure you're okay?" he asked again, the concern evident on his face.

Catherine didn't even want to look at him. She knew if she did it would be even harder to keep up that boundary wall she'd been fighting to keep up lately. She didn't realize how much time had passed since he'd asked until he spoke again. "Cath, hey." He propped himself up so he could see her face, even though it was still turned mostly away from him. "Are you thinking about yesterday?" he guessed. It only took him a second to move to see the rest of her face before realizing this was exactly it. It made him think about all the times he'd been exactly where she was. He knew it was especially hard at first, though. Living with the knowledge that you'd taken someone's son, daughter, father or brother away from them forever never got any easier.

"Hey," he put his hand on her arm in a last ditch effort to get her attention.

Finally, Catherine allowed herself to move enough to look at him. As if she had no control over her own emotions, she suddenly couldn't speak. It was only when she tasted the saltiness on her lips that she realized she was crying.

"Cath…" Steve started, before wiping the tears gently away from her face. "Whatever you've got on your mind, anything that's got you worrying, you can tell me."

At first, she still couldn't speak. Looking up at him, Catherine knew he was asking to be let in, but she was just so scared, she still didn't know if she was ready to let him in to her deepest, darkest thoughts yet. She hadn't let anyone in for such a long time, maybe not even ever, she realized. And Steve, well he was Steve. It was easy between them, it was comfortable. Since they both knew and respected each other's pasts well enough to keep up the true walls between them, there was no danger of getting hurt. And losing that was exactly what she was afraid of.

Steve knew she needed him, though. He had seen the pain piling up inside her heart, and her mind. He could tell she was searching for some kind of answer, some piece to explain why it was okay that she a bullet from a gun she fired had killed someone. He knew the feeling well, having been there many more times than he'd like to count. He had so many scars, physical and emotional that held him down; he also knew how important it was to have someone to help you through it, to take all those feelings and worries off of you.

After a few minutes of still being unable to speak, Catherine sunk back into the pillow, turning away from him. "Cath, listen." He said softly, as he brushed some hair away from her face. "We all try to hide from the emotional aftermath, but you can't cover it up. You have to go through it, and you need someone to help you take it off." He wrapped his arm around her once again and pulled her as close to him as possible. He was trying to show her in physical communication that he was ready to be that person. He knew she'd resist at first, but he also knew that physical communication was what they knew best, so if he had any chance of having her open up to him, this was the way to do it.

It wasn't the way she interpreted his message, however. Feeling his arm drape across her bare abdomen and squeeze her tightly against him, Catherine was instantly outraged. For her, it felt like complete justification for her thinking that she couldn't allow herself to let her guard down. Here she was, feeling the immense weight of guilt mixed with wanting to feel pride on her shoulders, and Steve was trying to get physical. "Steve, I can't." she pulled herself away from him to create as much physical space between them in the bed as possible. She turned to look at him, pulling the sheet up to cover as much of her naked body as possible. For some reason, knowing they were both laying there naked made her feel even more vulnerable. It was just another piece of proof to her that she was not ready to open herself up to him emotionally. The vulnerability took her by surprise, much like most of the thoughts and emotions streaming through her head a million miles a minute over the last twelve hours. They had always been physically comfortable around each other, but suddenly Catherine was feeling like everything had changed. She shook her head, letting it all hit her once again.

Steve was disheartened, realizing the approach he thought would work only backfired on him. But he just couldn't bear to see her struggling anymore. "Cath, we can talk about this, I mean it." He more stated, than offered. "You need to talk about this, and I'm here." He let that settle in for a second, and then reached over and took her face in his hand. "I'm not talking about sexuality, here." He looked as deeply into his eyes as he possibly could.

Catherine closed her eyes, feeling him lightly stroke her cheek with his thumb. She still felt guarded, even though somewhere deep inside she could already feel herself giving in to him.

Steve sensed it too, so he didn't let the opportunity to continue telling her what he knew she needed to hear pass. "Let's just talk, okay?" he offered, when she opened them again to look at him. "We can talk through everything that happened last night, and then you'll be able to put it in the past."

She didn't let her eyes leave his as he stayed so focused on hers. "I can't forget it, Steve. I can't just let go."

"I know you can't," he replied. "And honestly, you never will be able to. It happened, Cath. That's a fact." She continued to look at him, realizing she was seeing a different side of Steve for the first time. "But if you let me try," he continued, "I can help you take off that pressure that's building in on you, making you feel this way. And then it will get a little easier to live with."

Catherine closed her eyes once again. Only this time she realized it was something else she'd been hiding from all this time. And she was done hiding, done trying to cover things up. She kept her eyes closed, feeling the tears coming on strong again. Suddenly, she could just let it all out. "I killed a man, Steve. I took someone's life; I am directly responsible for his wife becoming a widow and a single mother. His daughter will never know her father, and I did that to them." She stopped when she couldn't speak through the tears anymore.

"Shh, shh…" he moved himself closer to her and encouraged her to lay her head down on his chest. "I know, it's okay."

Catherine laid there; still crying as he gently stroked her hair and kissed her on the temple. She could feel his heartbeat like a strong and steady drum. While it didn't fix everything, feeling that beat made her feel better already. It allowed her to slow the tears and eventually, stop them altogether. There was something about the juxtaposition of lying there with him, having so much of their bare skin touching without any thought of sexuality that made her feel safer than she had in a long time. It also gave her the courage to bring to words what she realized she'd been hiding for far too long. "Steve," she adjusted her head just enough to be able to look at him. "I love you."

He smiled, feeling his eyes get slightly glossy. "I love you too." He kissed her on the forehead and continued to stroke her hair to comfort her as they continued to watch the day's sun get stronger in the room to bring in a new day.


	4. Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

This is so silly, but it just came to me in a few minutes so I couldn't help myself.. :) It's based on the version in the movie, not the Elton John version. And... for the record, I think The Lion King is still the best movie, ever. lol.

Can You Feel The Love Tonight by The Lion King  
[Timon:]  
I can see what's happening  
(What?)  
And they don't have a clue  
(Who?)  
They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line  
Our trio's down to two.  
(Oh.)  
[In a sarcastic mock-French accent]  
Ze sweet caress of twilight  
[Back to normal, but still sarcastic]  
There's magic everywhere  
And with all this romantic atmosphere  
Disaster's in the air  
[FS:]  
Can you feel the love tonight?  
The peace the evening brings  
The world, for once, in perfect harmony  
With all its living things  
[Simba:]  
So many things to tell her  
But how to make her see  
The truth about my past? Impossible!  
She'd turn away from me  
[Nala:]  
He's holding back, he's hiding  
But what, I can't decide  
Why won't he be the king I know he is  
The king I see inside?  
[Chorus:]  
Can you feel the love tonight?  
The peace the evening brings  
The world, for once, in perfect harmony  
With all its living things  
Can you feel the love tonight?  
You needn't look too far  
Stealing through the night's uncertainties  
Love is where they are  
[Timon:]  
And if he falls in love tonight  
It can be assumed  
[Pumbaa:]  
His carefree days with us are history  
[Timon and Pumbaa:]  
In short, our pal is doomed

* * *

"Chin, tell me you're seeing what's happening here?" Danny asked his friend and colleague as they both sipped their beers slowly. It had become a weekly ritual for the men of Five 0 to enjoy a couple of beverages together to unwind from whatever case they had worked that week.

"What, brah?" Chin asked, not entirely following Danny's thoughts.

The blonde man chuckled, shaking his head slowly. "Over there," he motioned with his head to the couple on the beach in front of them.

"Who?" Chin asked, trying to scan the various crowds along the beach to figure out exactly what the detective was talking about. It was made difficult by the fact that most of the beach was only lit with tiki torches, though.

"It's okay, buddy. You've got company on the 'doesn't have a clue' train," he teased.

"Who are you talking about?" Chin gave him a very puzzled look.

"The lovebirds, ten o'clock." He explained, watching Chin's face for his reaction when he finally spotted them.

"Oh." Chin raised his eyebrows when he saw just enough in the light to spot his boss sitting on the beach a few feet from a torch. "Looks like our trio's down to two."

"Yeah." Danny agreed matter of factly. "I mean, c'mon. I feel like I need to wear a fire suit to ward off the magic and sparks that fly between them when I'm around them. Add the sweet touch of torch light in the darkness to what is obviously an already romantic atmosphere, and our boy out there is sunk." He shook his head as he took another sip of his beverage.

"So you can feel it too, huh?" Chin smiled, confirming what they both had known for a long time.

"It's as if the world is in perfect harmony, and all the stars have aligned." Danny replied, sarcastically as he looked up at the peaceful night sky full of stars above them.

"I'm not sure what's more obvious to the world," Chin commented, already starting to laugh. "The fact that you're not from the islands or the fact that Steve's in love." Both men genuinely laughed as they tapped their beers together and drank some more.

As much as hearing his two best friends laugh all the way from the beach made Steve want to turn around to see what was going on, he just couldn't take his eyes off of the woman sitting beside him. All he could think about was how he wanted to tell her everything about him that he could; everything she didn't already know. But he was scared that she'd turn away if she knew about all of his time as a SEAL.

Catherine meanwhile, was watching him too. She knew he felt the need to hold things back from her, she just couldn't decide what it was, or why he felt that way. She knew parts of his past were dark, but she also knew that he'd been doing a great job at running Five 0 and ridding the islands of unwanted inhabitants. She knew he was a great leader, and it was always a struggle to get him to see it, too. She had a feeling though, that she would be the person to make him realize what a leader he was. She didn't know when, or how exactly, but she knew that whatever uncertainties life threw at them, they loved each other. Feeling the moment was right, she leaned over for a kiss.

"Hey, hey," Danny jabbed Chin in the side to bring his attention to the scene on the beach. "I said they'd kiss after twenty minutes of being down there, so you own me five bucks my friend."

Chin feigned a sigh as he reached for his wallet. "Fine, but I'll win the next one." He smiled, coolly.

"Next one?" Danny asked curiously. "What are we betting on next?"

"Brah, you know he's in love, I know he's in love. Half the island knows he's in love, right?"

"Yeah?" Danny agreed, still a little confused about where Chin's point was going to lay.

"So we can only assume his care free days to come and go whenever and where ever are going to be ending sometime soon, right?"

Danny smiled, realizing exactly what Chin was getting at. "The question is when." He laughed. "This is going to be a sight to see, if I've ever seen one." He concluded, as Chin laughed and nodded in agreement.

"In other words," Chin started, "he's doomed." They said in unison, laughing and clinking beers as they did.


	5. If I Fall

Sorry it's been a while since posting anything. :( I've got a lot going on with work, and am having a hard time finding time for ideas, let alone actually writing them down. I wrote this one on my lunch break over the last few weeks..that's been the only time I've had to write lately :/ But anyway, another great song that can make a great story. My first McKono venture, so I hope it turned out okay for McKono shippers and everyone else too. Please read and review :)

* * *

Song is 'If I Fall' by Doc Walker. They seem to have a lot of fic-worthy songs for me, lol.

I've Been Waiting For The Perfect Moment  
My Hands Are Shaking But My Heart Is True  
I've Been Waiting To Say I Love You  
But I Want To Be Sure You'll Say You Love Me Too

So Baby Won't You Say It With Me  
Or Leave Me Out In The Cold  
If I Fall Right Here Would You Carry Me Home  
And If You Feel The Way I Feel  
Then You've Got To Let Me Know  
If I Fall Right Here Would You Carry Me Home

Pulled Off The Highway,Let The Motor Idle  
Girl There's A Reason Why I Brought You Here  
I Said I Love You And you Sat There Silent  
Find More lyrics at .com  
That One Moment Felt Like A Thousand Years  
So Baby Will You say it With Me  
Or Leave Me Out Here In The Cold  
If I Fall Right Here Would You Carry Me Home  
And If You Feel The Way I Feel  
Then You've Got To Let Me Know  
If I Fall Right Here Would You Carry Me Home  
Don't leave me high, don't leave me high and dry  
If I fall right here would you carry me home, If I fall right here would you carry me home  
I've Been Waiting For The Perfect Moment  
My Hands Are Shaking But My Heart Is True

* * *

Finally, the moment Steve had been waiting for was here. He'd been waiting so long; he had slowly started to think there might never be a perfect moment to express his true feelings. Those thoughts were all but gone now, as they got out of the water and loaded their boards back into the truck after spending almost the entire day surfing at Steve's favourite hidden spot.

Even though Steve knew it was the perfect moment, it didn't change how nervous he was. His hands were shaking as he tried tying his board down.

"Aw, don't tell me I gotta spill all my pro secrets for tying boards down too," Kono teased, watching him struggle a bit.

Steve let out a very nervous laughter, silently cursing himself for letting her see that he was having a hard time. He definitely was not used to being nervous, not to mention being nervous about professing his love to anyone other than his family. This moment was different, though. He knew his heart was true, and that he had no choice but to express to her exactly how he felt. He remembered exactly why he was as nervous as he tried to cover up his anxiety. He was determined to get it under control before saying what he needed to.

It was a task not easily accomplished, though. "Nah, I got it." He tried so smile coolly as he finished up and they got into the truck.

"I can't believe I've never seen this spot before," Kono commented as they started driving down the long dirt path away from the tiny opening in the brush that led to a very small beach. "I thought I knew every beach on this island." she smiled. "How did you find this place again?"

"Uh, it was by accident actually." Steve explained, trying harder than ever to control the shaking in his voice and the pounding of his heart. "I was trying to find an old fishing spot my dad took me to when I was a kid. I took a wrong turn somewhere and stumbled across this road. I followed it right down, and when I found the beach, I had to get out and explore to really appreciate it." His heart was beating so fast, he swore she had to be able to hear it too.

"It really is beautiful," she nodded her head. "Its atmosphere is so vibrant and strong, yet peaceful and elegant at the same time."

"Yeah, it is. It made…" Steve hesitated; feeling like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. It made him realize though, that he didn't care anymore if she didn't feel the same way. He knew it wasn't just a passing thing, and he needed to know how she felt, one way or the other. "It made me think of you." He finally got it ou. He'd been having those feelings for quite some time, but was never sure enough that she'd feel the way he felt. But the time was now. No more talking himself out of it, no more finding excuses to wait. He was just going to say it, and that was that.

"Aww," Kono blushed a little, not really sure how to take what he'd just said. She had been sensing that something was going on with him before that, but hearing things like that from him really threw her for a loop. "You okay boss?" she asked, curiously as he made the turn from the dirt road onto the main highway.

Hearing and seeing her reaction solidified for him even more that this was the moment he'd been waiting for. He pulled off the highway, but let the motor idle. "Kono, listen. There' something I need to tell you." He looked down at his shaking hands as he took them off the wheel.

"Um, you forgot how to get home from here?" she joked lightly, unsure why he had pulled over so abruptly.

"No, there's a reason I brought you here." He heard the unsteadiness in his own voice, and for the first time didn't care if she heard it too. "I'm falling in love with you." He stated, just as abruptly as he had pulled over a minute earlier. "And you've got to let me know how you feel, because if you don't feel it too, I have to know now." He was beginning to ramble. "I've never felt like this, never thought and _definitely _never acted on any feeling, or anything like this before."

As he stopped speaking, so did the relentless pounding of his heart. He was finally calm enough to look over at her. Steve knew only a few minutes had passed, but Kono sitting there silent made it feel like a thousand years. He started thinking about the whole idea of falling for someone. When he thought of someone falling, it was practically instinctive for him to want to catch them. It wasn't something he ever gave a second thought to. It was part of not only his job but also who he was, right down to his very core. But this was a completely different kind of falling. One he had never experienced. Jumping out of planes, running out of buildings about to blow up, diving to depths most people can't even conceive. That was a walk in the park compared to this. Putting yourself out there like that and not knowing what you were going to get in return was infinitely scarier to him than all of those situations combined. And it was Kono. _Kono_. If anything, he should feel safe with her. Afterall, they had worked closely for long enough now that they were not only Ohana, but more of an ohana than his real one had been for most of his life. But somehow, through all of that, he still felt his feelings and the time were right.

After all of that had gone through his head, Steve realized she still hadn't said anything. He felt his breath quicken, his palms go sweaty, and his heart rate speed up once again. Suddenly super SEAL Steve felt more terrified than he ever had before. He realized then that he wasn't as prepared to be rejected as he thought he was. Being tortured by Wo Fat, being hunted by the man who literally had a bullet with his name on it suddenly felt better than this. Nothing was as terrifying to him as being rejected by the woman he truly loved. "Kono…" he said, finally. Even though inside his head was screaming, he couldn't take the outward silence any longer. "Don't leave me high and dry here…"

"Steve," she finally replied, more or less cutting him off as she looked up at him. She swallowed hard, trying to keep her voice steady as she felt her eyes getting misty. "I didn't know you were…" she trailed off for a second, before finding the confidence needed to continue. "Will you catch me?" As hard as she had fought the tears welling up, she knew instantly that she'd lose the battle against the giant smile that was taking over her entire face. "Right here, right now?" she added through that smile.

Just from those simple words, Steve felt like himself again. "I will catch you, and I will carry you home." He too let his feelings show on his face. "I love you, Kono." He said as he leaned over and they shared a kiss they had both been anticipating for a long time.

"I love you too." She smiled, feeling her heart rate slow down for the first time since they'd gotten out of the water on that perfect day.


	6. Run To Me (Part 1 of 2)

Back to McRollins for this one.. another song I love and think makes a good songfic. As always, lyrics are here:

When you're all alone in the dark  
And it's hard not to be afraid  
When your candle's losing it's spark  
And it seems that you can't find your way  
Look straight ahead, don't cry and don't look back  
Leave your regrets behind you in the past  
Run to me

I will always be  
The hand you can hold when you're lonely and cold  
I will warm you I adore you  
You're always in my heart  
No matter where you are  
When it's love you need (Come to me)  
Baby you can run to me

Nothing you ever say  
And nothing you could ever do  
Is gonna change the way  
That I'll always be loving you  
I'll be your sky, I'll be a soft place to fall  
Baby this love is unconditional

When it's midnight on a winding road  
And you don't know where you are or where to go  
Through the rain, call my name,  
And I will run to you.

* * *

2:12. twenty minutes since the last time he looked at the clock. Steve was really tired, but sleep just wasn't happening for him that night. He knew he needed to get it out of his head that Catherine wasn't there, but he couldn't stop himself from running his hand over the cold, flat sheet beside him. Like breathing, the thoughts of wishing she was there came to him automatically.

It'd been over a year since they decided to start living together. Before that time, they had slowly progressed from a friends with benefits scenario to wanting to spend all their days together as well as their nights. So moving in together only made sense; really. And since she was on active duty and only home a few days every few weeks, Catherine decided it didn't make much sense to keep her house when she was spending most of her leave at Steve's anyway.

It took him a little while to get used to someone being there when he came home, and on days off, but now he really missed the days he'd come home and see her there. It was a three week stretch apart, and this wasn't the first night in that time he'd laid awake, wishing she was there.  
He moved to look at the clock again. 2:21. He also couldn't help but think about what was happening to him. He knew how to force himself to sleep; he'd done it for years with the SEALs. There were many times when he'd been required to do things during the day that he thought no person in their right mind could go to sleep having done. But he always managed to put in behind him and move on.

But tonight was different. He was missing not only Catherine's physical presence, but her mental and emotional one as well. He had come to rely on her for a sounding board and shoulder to lean on when he had a difficult case on his mind. And this one was weighing particularly heavy. It had originally been a simple domestic disturbance between a husband and wife. The call was handled by HPD, but it very quickly turned into a hostage situation. And worse than that, Five 0 wasn't able to get there before shots were fired. They had no choice but to go in literally with guns blazing. And out of no faults of Steve or anyone else on his team, the couples small son was caught in the cross fire. Steve couldn't allow himself to believe it wasn't preventable, though.  
He tried to clear his mind of thinking about Catherine. These three weeks were the longest they'd been apart since living together, and it felt more like three months to Steve. He was just thinking about getting up and going for a run on the beach when he heard his phone buzzing on the night stand beside him. He thought he was imagining things. He'd been laying there trying to find a distraction, and catching a case would be the perfect solution.  
"McGarrett." He answered clearly.  
"So you couldn't sleep either, huh?" The soft voice he craved hearing beside him replied.  
"Catherine," he smiled into the phone. "No, I can't sleep. I was just thinking about going for a run. Is everything okay?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine." She answered. "I just had a feeling you'd be awake too, so I thought I'd call to say hi. So, hi." She could hear in his voice that he was smiling, and that alone made her smile too.  
"Hi." He gave a little chuckle. Just hearing that simple word from her was already making him feel a little better. "I miss you." He added, though he knew she already knew that.  
"I miss you too." She replied. "Did you work today?"  
"Yeah." He replied. "Duke called us into a domestic disturbance, and it.. Uh, it went bad." He hesitated, feeling like he didn't want to burden her with his problems in the middle of the night like that.  
"Oh. Are you okay? Are Danny, Kono and Chin okay?" She asked, concerned.  
"We're all fine, none of us were hurt." He explained, suddenly feeling his heart beat faster. "There was a little boy, though. And we couldn't..." He trailed off, as if not saying it out loud somehow made it seem less real.  
Catherine picked up on his tone long before he finished speaking though. She could tell something had gone wrong too. There was no spark in his voice, no feeling of accomplishment or pride in his work as he usually had. She too had become accustomed to their give and take when he had a difficult day on the job. She had gotten very good at putting him back on the right path when he seemed to lose his way in terms of remembering why he was doing the job in the first place. And he loved her even more for it.  
"Hey," she said softly. "I don't know what happened, but I know you did your best, Steve. And sometimes things happen even when you plan around them."  
"Yeah." He agreed. "If we had gotten there even five minutes sooner though..." He shook his head, as if trying to shake the thought out of him. "I'm trying not to think about it, but I'm here alone, and I can't stop."  
He gave her a brief run down of what had taken place that night.  
"Steve, can you look outside?" She asked when he was finished. She still wished she could be there, though.  
"Uh, okay." He sat up in his bed and moved the light curtain flowing in the gentle breeze of the evening. "I'm looking out at the water.." His tone was hesitant, having no idea what she was getting at.  
"Okay. Think about the water. The soft, rolling waves. Think about us going for a swim when I get back, and maybe a nice dinner on the beach under the glow of the evening's sky. The sky that, even when it's dark and stormy, always comes back around to being a brilliant blue."  
"That sounds great, Cath." He sighed. "But I don't see how it will help me sleep tonight."  
"You have to look straight ahead to that, and don't look back." She advised softly.  
"Oh i am looking forward to that more than I can tell you." he replied. "But i can't get the image of that little boy laying there..." He simply couldn't say the rest of the words out loud.  
"Steve, what happened yesterday is now in the past. You can't change anything that happened, so you have to leave it in the past. I know that's hard for you to hear, but I don't-"  
"You're right." Steve didn't need to hear the rest of her sentence because he already knew her advice was exactly what he needed to hear. "Yeah, I said it." He let out the smallest of chuckles, anticipating her next comment.  
"Well," she returned his level of amusement. "I think that satisfaction alone will help me sleep."  
"That's very funny." He laughed a little more. There was a few moments of dead air after their laughter died down before Catherine spoke again.  
"Steve, I have to go, but you need to remember something." She said quietly, as if someone had suddenly come into the room.  
"What? That you'll be home in two weeks?" He joked, smiling more now. "And that by then we'll have five weeks worth of-"  
"Steve," she cut him off, although she couldn't help but smile at the thought too. "I'm trying to be serious." She added, as much to herself as to him.  
"So am I." He interjected, knowing it would make her laugh once again.  
"Would you just listen, please?" She was trying to be stern, but couldn't stop the laughter from coming out at the same time. She continued before he could jump in again. "Steve, I will always be here, even when I can't be there. And I want you to remember that, always. Even when you're alone in the dark, you're not completely alone. Wherever you are, or wherever I am, we still have a piece of each other with us."  
He stayed quiet for a moment, replaying her words in his head.  
"Steve?" She asked, wondering if he was still on the line.  
"Yeah?"  
"I love you."  
It was as simple a sentence as possible, but it meant more to Steve than any other one possibly could.  
"I love you too." He replied, thinking about just how much he did love her.  
"Try to get some sleep, okay?" She advised, still wishing she could be there for him physically too.  
"Yeah, I will." He agreed. They were both quiet for a few moments, neither wanting to hang up.  
"Two weeks," she finally said. "I'll see you in fourteen days."  
"And fourteen nights." He reminded himself out loud. "See you then." He didn't give himself the chance to put off hanging up this time. He tapped the disconnect button like ripping off a bandaid. Laying back down, Steve thought about what she'd said about the water, and the sky. About how even in dark times, you always knew light was coming. And a soft, warm, beautiful light at that. One that somehow made you forget about your problems, even for a few minutes, when you felt those first rays sweep over your body in the morning. She is my sky. He thought to himself. She is that feeling. With those thoughts and a smile wider than he'd had in a long time, Steve finally did drift off to sleep.  
The following days got a little easier, and to Steve's surprise the nights did too. Minus a few bad nights, however. None harder than the night after he visited the mother of the child they' lost in the hospital. She had surgery that day, and Steve wanted to make sure he conveyed his condolences once again. He kept running the chain of events of that day through his mind as he laid there in bed that night. They had no choice but to take out the father, and he knew that. But the boy. Because he jumped in front of his mother, her injuries were survivable. Even at seven years old, he acted on instinct to save the life of the person who gave him his.  
That was the part Steve couldn't get past this night in particular. He couldn't help but think about his own mother, and how their life had been taken from them; from her. It was really the first time he'd allowed himself to think about what it was like for her to know she had two children out there that she could never see or talk to. Children who thought she was dead, and therefore would never know to seek her out either. It wasn't much different than the young mother they'd encountered on that case, he realized. She lost her son. And at the end of the day, she would always come back to the fact that it happened because of her own life choices. In her case, it was because of the man she chose to stay with. For Doris, it was her job. Truthfully, the circumstances didn't matter, Steve rationalized to himself. Both women lost their children due to their own choices, and had to bare that thought for the rest of her life. It all weighed heavy on Steve's mind as he heard the phone ring. This time though, he knew who it would be, and what they were calling for. He could already feel himself smiling as he reached for his phone on the dining table.  
"Cath." He let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in as he answered. The idea that she was almost on the same ground as he was made him as happy as he had been the last time they'd spoken two weeks before. "How long until you land?" He asked with a slight flicker of excitement in his voice at the idea of picking her up at the airport in probably a short time.  
Catherine was silent for a few seconds. She could already hear the happiness in Steve's voice, and that made her chastise herself even more for what she had to tell him.


	7. Run To Me (Part 2 of 2)

"Catherine? You there?" He asked, confused.  
"Steve," she said in a quiet, sad tone. "My duty was extended. I can't leave for another two weeks." She swallowed hard before delivering the final bomb. "Minimum."  
"What..." He trailed off, the words he was looking for just not there.  
"I'm SO sorry," she continued, before he had the chance to. "I requested to be taken off the mission as soon as I got wind it might go long, and I tried submitting for early R and R, but-"  
"It's okay." He interrupted. "I'll see you .." It wasn't until then that what she had said fully sank in. "...later." He finished and hung up. As soon as he did it, he felt bad. He stared at the phone for a minute, asking himself if he should try calling her back. He wasn't angry at her because he knew it wasn't her fault. So she didn't deserve that coldness from him.  
It was himself that Steve was angry at. Throughout his adult life, and especially in recent times, Steve had learned the only person he could really count on was himself. And here he'd let himself rely so much on Catherine, only to now feel as though his heart was going to explode. But he'd made that choice, to let her in. His life choice. And now he was living his own repercussions. Ultimately, he decided against calling back because he was afraid to say something he didn't truly mean. He knew he needed to burn off some energy, and maybe clear his head so Steve decided to go for a run. He felt better afterwards, but still sleep evaded him. It became a constant over the next few weeks. Feel angry at the world, run, lay there for hours before finally getting a couple hours of sleep, and repeat.  
After two weeks, he started checking his phone almost constantly. He didn't realize what he was doing until it was brought to his attention the day he'd gone to visit the mother involved in the shooting one last time in the hospital.  
"Commander McGarrett, is everything okay?" She asked as she was packing up her things.  
"Hmm?" He replied, still distracted.  
"You've been checking your phone every minute since you got here. Is there somewhere else you need to be?" She winced a little as she bent over to pick up her shoes from the floor.  
"Uh, no." He said quickly as he jumped in and grabbed them for her. "Here," he guided her to sit on the bed, and then handed them to her.  
"Thank you." She nodded. "It's very nice of you to offer to take me home, but I'll be okay. My sister can pick me up." Steve wasn't sure what to say, so he stayed silent until she continued. "I recognize a hurting heart when I see one, Commander."  
Steve was taken aback by her comment, prompting her to explain.  
" I know more kinds of emotional pain than anyone should in their lifetime, and what this ordeal has taught me is that you must love yourself as much as others truly do."  
He thought about what she said, and how much it applied to him. He replayed his last two conversation with Catherine go through his mind. She loves me, through all of it, he thought. She's my sky, he reminded himself.  
"So, are you sure there isn't somewhere else you should be?" She asked again, with a very slight grin. It was the first time through all of this that he had seen her smile.  
He hugged and thanked the young mother for her advice, wished her a speedy recovery at home, and headed for his truck.  
He tried calling Catherine almost non stop the entire way back to the house, but her phone went to voicemail every time. He kept trying most of the evening, and still nothing. By the time eleven o'clock rolled around, his emotions went from discouraged to concerned. He knew there was no point in even trying to sleep, so he geared up for a run.  
It was raining, but Steve didn't care.  
He decided to hit the running trail he went to almost everyday as a kid. It was the place he ran to after his father told him the news about his mother over twenty years before, and it just felt right to go there that night.  
He didn't realize how much the trail had changed since then, though. It was raining pretty hard by the time Steve finally stopped to take a break at a bench on the northern part of the trail. While his heart rate was slowing down, his mind couldn't race any faster. He didn't even notice how wet his phone was getting every time he pulled it out of his pocket, hoping for that message or call. Each time he was met with disappointment, he had to convince himself even more that she was okay. Just away from her phone. For most of the day. No. She is fine. When he realized how little he believed himself, Steve decided it was time to run again. He didn't realize however, that he took a different path than the one that brought him to that spot. A mile or so later, he got himself out of his own head long enough to realize none of his surroundings were familiar. He chalked it up to a new section of trail being built since he'd last been there twenty years before. He assumed it would connect back to the main path at some point, and kept running. After another mile though, Steve was getting slightly worried. He found another bench up ahead and decided to take another rest to figure out his way back. It was raining so hard that it almost hurt hitting his face, but Steve didn't care. He kept checking his phone, still to no avail.  
He had been sitting there less than five minutes when he first heard it. There's no way, he thought. I'm cold, soaking wet, and probably dehydrated. It was dark save for the occasional lamp. At midnight after very little sleep he had to be hearing things. Until he heard it again, and it was closer this time.  
"Steve!" She called again, unsure whether or not he could hear her.  
She could see just enough of his silhouette to tell it was him from the other section of the trail a few hundred yards from him. As fast as her brain registered it was him, she began running up the winding road towards him. "Steve!" She called once more.  
That time it made him stand up, as if he would be able to see the person attached to the voice even though there was barely enough light near him to see fifteen feet away. It was enough, though. He saw the small frame running up the winding trail towards him.  
"Catherine..." He hesitated, almost afraid to call her name out loud in case he was going to be disappointed. He didn't have to worry about that for long, however. As soon as the first flicker of light from the lamp near him hit her, Steve ran like he'd never ran before. Their hands were the first thing to reach for each other right before their lips. "Catherine!" He said with a mix of relief and confidence this time. "When did you.. I would've.." He trailed off, as the rain continued to soak both of them.  
"We had to come in dark." She shook her head. I couldn't call you until I was on the ground, and your phone isn't working." She explained, as water droplets pelted their faces.  
Steve didn't even have words to say at that moment, his mind was consumed with relief, joy, and love. He just smiled, shook his head, and took her face in his hands to kiss her some more. After a few more rain drenched kisses, they separated enough that Steve could reach into his pocket. He shook his head again as he realized he'd had no signal the entire time he'd been waiting for her call up on the mountain.  
"Cath, I'm sorry, I-"  
"Shh," she put her finger up to his lips. "No apology needed." She moved her finger and grabbed his hands again. "Nothing you ever say, and nothing you could ever do, is going to change the way I'll _always_ be loving you, Steve. And I really mean that."  
He smiled, completely forgetting how drenched and cold they were. "Me too." He kissed her some more, as if their environment was anything but perfect. It wasn't long before a cold chill took over his body and he started to shiver a bit.  
"How long have you been out here?" Catherine asked once they parted again.  
"Uhh," Steve shrugged, having lost all concept of time after she found him. "A while, I guess." His eyes couldn't leave hers as they stood there, still as entranced as when they first met up. "How did you find me here?" He asked, although that was unimportant now.  
"I remembered you talking about coming here when you were a kid, and after your mom..."  
"You remembered that?" He smiled.  
"Yeah," she nodded. "So when you said you were having a hard time with this case, and that it involved a mother losing her son, I thought of here."  
He didn't say a word before wrapping his hands around her face and kissing her again. She reciprocated with her hand on his face also.  
She smiled as they parted. "I love you."  
He pulled her close once again.  
"I love that you love me, mommy issues and all." He replied, earning a small chuckle from Catherine. "We may not be able to see each other all of the time, and we may have dark moments, but we always find each other again."  
"Like the sky." He replied, feeling her shake a little now. "No matter where you are, you know the light will always come."  
"Unconditional." She said, smiling even though the rain had made her face so cold and wet she could hardly feel her lips.  
"You're my sky, Cath." He couldn't help but beam from ear to ear having professed that to her.  
He kissed her once again, before another round of shivers hit them both.  
She smiled as they parted. "Let's go home." She motioned towards the base of the trail where his truck was parked.  
"Yeah." He agreed, stepping forward. They started down the way she'd come up, but less than a minute later Steve stopped. "Wait, one more thing." He let go of his arm around her, and wiped some water from his face even though it was pointless with how fast and hard it was still coming down.  
"Steve, what did you stop..?" She asked, but trailed off when she realized the answer was in front of her.  
There was an audible squishing sound when his knee hit the saturated grass. "Catherine, I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. You came here tonight to find me, to be my sky. And I want to do anything I can to make you feel the same way."  
Catherine didn't care how the salty rain water tasted in her mouth, she still stood there with her jaw open.  
"I want you to run to me. To know that I will always be the hand you can hold when you're lonely, or cold. I will warm you. I adore you, and no matter where you are, you're always in my heart. You've shown me that I need love, and it doesn't get better than yours. I don't have a ring, but if you accept, I will spend the rest of my life being here. So that when you need the kind if love you give me every day, you can run to me."  
Catherine's mouth was still open when he finished speaking. It wasn't that she didn't know what to say. The idea of being married to Steve had entered her mind a few times over the last year or so. This was so sudden though, she needed a minute to take it in.  
And she wasn't the only one. Proposing marriage was the last thing Steve thought he'd be doing that night, but it just felt so right in that moment. He came out of his moment and looked up at her.  
"Cath?" He asked as the rain ran down his face.  
"Yeah." She instantly snapped back into the moment too. Yes, my answer is yes. I accept!" She laughed a little. Still on one knee, he gently pulled her towards him until he felt the soft touch of her arms around his neck. Looking up at her, Steve noticed there was more than just the rain droplets falling from her face.  
Feeling a surge of energy, he picked her up as he stood back up and lowered her enough so that they were level faced. "My sky, my soft place to fall." He smiled and kissed her again. "Unconditional." She nodded, happy to reciprocate his affections. Steve lowered her so her feet touched the ground once again. "Let's go warm up." He grinned, knowing she'd agree.  
"You want to run back?" She asked, jokingly.  
Steve knew she was kidding and wanted to milk every second of it. He grinned the devilish smile she'd come to know and love so much, and then was gone down the winding part of the trail. "Steve!" She yelled, running quickly after him. "Steve!" She yelled again, although she was laughing this time. Hearing that made him laugh too. He didn't stop though. "What, you afraid you're going to lose, lieutenant?" She laughed even more as she caught up to him and joined him hand and hand as they made their way back to their vehicles, and to their house, and ultimately, the rest of their lives together.


End file.
